Friday, April 01, 2005

Writer is to Trial like Mother is to Tribulation

Remember those horrible tests when we were in school? What freakin' point WAS there to those stupid questions anyway? Must have had some impact, since I'm now thinking of them, 20 years later. EEKS! NOT 20 years...more like...17. There. That doesn't sound *quite* as painful. Does it? No, it doesn't. Agree with me because I'm having a wickedly bad day.

To save face as The World's Worst Mother (of four kids, no less), I will not rant and rave about my children and the angst they're causing me. Well, in all fairness, I shouldn't say "ALL". My oldest three are girls. The youngest, age 3, is my angel boy. His smile will melt the coldest of hearts, and his manners impress school personnel and gets him a free toy at the McD's in Walmart, even when we're not buying anything! If you ever wondered what a romantic hero may have been like as a young child, look no further than my little man. He will be a heartbreaker, and having three big sisters, he'll know women inside and out. And being my child, I'm sure he'll use that knowledge to its full extent. ~frown~ Sounds like he's going to be a player, doesn't it? Well, at least he'll be a cute player with killer manners. He already ushers girls before him through a door. Yes, that's right, he's three.

There. That's my "good" stuff. Don't ask about the girls. The blog will turn ugly, and fast. I'm at my wits end with those three. Do you ever want to pack up and simply drive away? I do. I don't think I'd be missed until one of two things happened:
1) They ran out of clean underwear, or
2) It became dinner time.

Having said that, I'm on a new quest to find another dress to replace that skinny POS I ordered that was obviously wrong-sized to the extreme. ~grrr~ And then there's entire synopsis thing going on. Referring to my above bytching of my daughters, let's just say that the revamping of my synop was filled with more tears than blood. And as my title bar suggests, the blood wasn't even mine. Too much stuff has been going on this week, especially with my four year old, and with my illnesses really working against me AND her going mental, I've been beyond drugged. Drugged + Synopsis = A novel written on bad crack. Not good for a publishing career, I'm a'thinkin'.

Since I needed a totally rewritten synop for The Sheila, and since the postmark deadline is'd make a lot of money if you placed a bet that I wouldn't get it done on time. So ~maniacal laugh inserted here~ I'm scrapping the idea of The Sheila and heading on to The Molly. Thankfully, one of my dearest email buddies says The Molly is a fabulous contest to enter and I *should* concentrate on that one. And it's a good thing to, because:
1) The deadline isn't until later in the month, and
2) NO SYNOPSIS is required.

Now, to those sweet souls helping me with my synop (Gina, this means you! And Allison, too, although she's the Queen of the Query), not only do I appreciate you putting up with my flakiness this week, but I'm letting you know it's not over. I may not need the synop for the contest, but I DO need a solid synop at SOME point, and given how many times I like to revise, it's best I start on this now. Don't sigh in disappointment..I can feel it all the way to Texas when you two do that!!

And then there's the Kiss of Death. Besides looking like a total freak shoved into a dress that's obviously mis-sized for the banquet, I'm Assistant Coffin Coordinator. As impressive as that sounds, it unfortunately does NOT mean I can shove those that annoy me into coffins. Yes, I know, I share the sounds of dismay from you all. BUT, poor Christine. I'm replacing her, and I've just been a mess lately. Hopefully we'll get together today and I'll figure out my duties and be able to perform them at least half as decently as she did. It's very daunting to come up behind someone that you know did a superb job. But I promise to do my best! And thankfully, I got Misty to hold my trembling hand! (Thanks, doll!)

In other contest news, I'm still waiting to hear back on the Fab Five of Wisc. I SO wish I could attend the conference because one of my all time favs is giving classes, the wonderful and perky Ms. Alicia Rasley. She's so awesome. If you haven't voted for Mentor of the Year (RWA), git yer butt in gear and if you want my opinion, vote for her! (If you don't want my opinion, you shouldn't be reading my blog! ~wink~) But, I don't think I can get there. However, I hope to hear about the finalist on their contests. And The Daphne, although that's not for quite some time, I don't think. (Since I'm on Koffin, I could ask, huh? I'm drugged. Just pat me on the head and say "That's okay, Bren, we understand.") I'm especially excited about The Daphne whether I place or not because the winner will be announced at Nationals during the KOD ceremony where one of my all time favs Jenny Crusie is the co-keynote speaker. In other words, LOTS of stuff going on and as summer draws closer, the more excited I'll get. God help you all that actually read this.

For the times I said to ignore me because I'm drugged, it's always been true. My daily meds would drunken up a stallion. This week, however, has been so horribly wicked that I'm more so than normal, so please excuse any typos in advance. And if you read this entire thing and you're still with me...well... you're either an alien or a masochist. Or, scarier still, a psychiatrist!


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