Sunday, June 05, 2005

Sex vs. Romance

Although really hot on the RWA chatlines, this isn't about romance vs. erotica or what covers are presented on books from the art department or if it's fair to ban certain books from the RWA booksigning, even if their publisher is RWA recognized. There are a crapload of blogs out there covering that, but this isn't one of those blogs.

What's on my mind is more of body vs. mind. Although they say that the brain is the largest sexual organ, it's no secret that sex and emotions can and often are separate issues. And not just in the realm of prostitution. In our homes as well. But ideally, what would we want? What is it we crave?

We want to writhe around in slick sweat, panting and wanting and clawing and needing anything, everything, right there in that immediate moment. But it's what got us to that moment that's the most important, I think. We want romance. We want to know the other person wants us, in their mind, in their soul, in their hearts, as much as we want them. We want them to want us just as desperately, to want to feel our mouths, our hands, and our bodies under theirs. It's the mental connection between people that is what's powerful, that's what makes the brain the largest sexual organ. That all-encompassing feeling, your heart and your mind so full of emotion you think you may simply explode with the pressure of it, that no mere mortal body can contain that sensation without bursting. And that's what leads to the writhing and the sweating and the ultimate release.

Some can separate it. And some do so willingly. A girl's mouth is merely for deep-throating, her crotch just for him to have something warm to hump against. And how shallow is that? Who wants that? I know I don't. I want that estatic RIGHT NOW moment, and then that moment afterward, the free falling into arms that want to hold me, the voice that whispers in the dark to me, the one that slays my inner demons and dares me to dream higher and higher.

It's the passion. The romance. And ultimately, the love.

That's what I want, that's what I need, and I don't think I'll ever settle for less again.


Duke_of_Earle said...

In the argument of which is better, love or passion; I choose love for the very reasons you mention. Passion without love is momentary and of little lasting meaning. Love, if true and deep, will create a passion far more intense and satisfying.

Of course, the sterotypical man will say that HIS biggest sex organ is something other than the brain. And for those who truly feel that way, I'd say they are right. Why? Because their brain MUST be very small to think that way.

Kelly said...

I have yet to figure out how one can have passion without engaging the mind. For me at least, if you don't engage my mind, chances are you're never going to be engaging any other part either. Even if it doesn't turn out to be a long-lasting relationship, it still has to be part mental for me as well. It's a shame more men don't consider this when they try to hit on you. They may have a higher success rate if they did.

Karyn Lyndon said...

So...what are you trying to say?

Bill said...

I'm with you Brenda... it's what leads up to the "slick sweat, panting and wanting and clawing and needing anything, everything, right there in that immediate moment", and what follows it that makes all the difference!

I've often said, the most sexy woman on the planet is one I find attractive, and I *know* wants me!! (That happens to be my wife!)

Those moments of 'afterglow' can be every bit as pleasurable as any of the other 'moments'.

Dana said...

Great post! Sitting here, right now, I miss those days. My marriage right now is in a stagnant phase and sex is something I don't feel the need for. My husband does. I miss it though. I wish I could feel again. It's these darned depression meds. I'm damned if I take them and damned if I don't.

D said...

Personally, I've always felt that the difference between sex and romance was sex left you breathless from a physical workout and romance leaves you breathless from a moment in time with someone that you never want the moment to end.

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Welcome back, D.

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Dana, just because I can write about it, doesn't mean I live it.

The grass isn't always greener.