Wednesday, May 11, 2005

To Sleep, the chance to dream

I love to sleep. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed as having hypersomnia. I don't know if this is a real thing or not, but it made sense. Teenagers sleep a lot as it is, but even with that knowledge, I slept a LOT. I still do. If I have a chance to nap, I snag it. I never wake up early unless I absolutely have to. I simply love to sleep.

And I'm convinced this is because I love to dream. I'm a lucid dreamer, which means I dream in full color, smells, everything. I also have control in my dreams, and triggers that I can use to maneuver the dream. I'm one of those people (maybe the only one) that uses the nicotine patch JUST FOR the "weird dreams associated with the product". Yes, they may be nightmares, but for a lucid dreamer, nightmares are nothing. A trigger in the dream will tell me it's a dream, no matter how real it seems. The ability to control the dream keeps any real fear at bay. The patch enhances my dreaming to technocolor and it totally rocks.

In my dreams, I have the most fabulous affairs. I live the most exciting life. I look freakin' gorgeous, the perfect hair, the perfect body. Whatever I concentrate on before I sleep is almost always what I'll dream about, so I can pick whomever I want to find, whether it's from a movie or a book or someone I know, and I can then go and find them in the dream.

For years I never realized my dreaming ability was any different from others. My nightmares as a child were beyond real, and I suffered horribly before I learned my triggers around the age of 10. When someone was chasing me (I'm chased a lot in my dreams), I'd wake up with muscles cramps like I'd just exercised for hours. My dad slept with me I don't know how many times, because I was convinced the bad people in my dreams were real people. Of course, they weren't, but the dreams were so vivid I truly believed otherwise.

Around the age of 10, my trigger came into effect and I learned the power I had over the visions. Occasionally some bad ones would creep in that I couldn't control, and still do now, but that's rare with the triggers. And since learning the ability to manuever the dreams, I've been a sleep junkie. Few things in life can compare to my dreams, because I can make them as simple or as grand as I want them to be. Of course, real life is great most times: deep giggles from the toddlers, beaming at my 11 yr old's all A report card, reading a fabulous story Shan's written and feeling that pride and all encompassing love. Those are the real things, the solid things. But when life becomes too big, too grand, too depressing, too boring, I can escape to a book, or even better, to my dreams.

Then I wake up and see the dishes and the laundry and all that jazz and I pine for my sleep again. So if you ever call and I tell you I'm sleeping and will call you back, now you know: I'm dreaming of something delicious.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

So I'm not the only crazy one that experiences dreams like that - good to know! I've been lucid dreaming since I was small but gave up trying to explain it to others. The 'you have two heads' expressions became something of an irritant. But I always pitied those people. How boring their dreams must be, I thought. How sad they can't pull in anyone they want simply by focusing on them before drifting off. How dull their locations must be, that they can't wisk themselves off to whatever exotic locale that caught their fancy.