Black Sausage, anyone?

Every wonder what sausage would look like encased in shiny black silk? Wonder no more, my friend. I've seen it, and it ain't pretty. Trust me on this one.

Anyone need a size 8/10 formal? Cuz the tag on this one LIES!

Suck it in! Suck it in!

Yes, that's sang to the "plug it in" diddly. Don't ask why, cuz I don't know.

Here's the news. The black dress I ordered came in today. This is the one that's more semi-formal, where it just comes to my knees, has spaghetti straps then a scarf that goes around the neck and hangs down the back. Got the visual going there yet? Good. Keep THAT visual, because the one coming up is NOTHING as pretty as THAT.

Let me back up a bit. I recently lost a lot of weight (26 lbs) over the course of last year. In the last THREE months I've gained it all back, with two of my daily meds listing weight gain as a side-effect. Keeping THAT nasty little idea in mind, I ordered my old size.

Fast forward to my lily-white sitting on eBay looking at dresses and finding this cute little thing. Yes, it's in my "current" size, but I forgot one little important tidbit: formals run S M A L L. I held it up and though: Oh HELL no.

My 14 yr old is standing next to me. It fits her like a freakin' dream. SHE is a size 5/7. SO WHY would any twit put a big ol' double digit on the stupid dress! It's new with tags, and now I know why: Someone else bought it as the size 14/16 and realized it wouldn't fit on THEIR right thigh either, so left the tags on and put it on eBay, listing it New With Tags. (NWT). Guess what I'm about to do? The same friggin' thing.

~deep, cleansing sigh~

Now, just because I'm a flippin' moron and the mistress of all things masochist, I'm about to go to my room and attempt to push different pieces of flesh into the shiny satin fabric. Seriouly, I think a girdle would even run and hide at the aspect of fixing THIS problem.

To borrow a phrase from my friend, Eliana: Oy.
Stay tuned for the (ugly) update!

Synopses are for Masochists

I'm convinced of it. Ask me five years from now, and maybe I'll have changed my mind on this particular subject, but for RIGHT NOW, I'm wondering why I'm putting myself through this kind of pain.

In my weird little world, I used to think that the synopsis for my 90K word book would be three pages, double spaced. Where I came up with that, I have no idea. I didn't know what query letters were, much less how to write a good one, and the same holds true for synposes. Thankfully, one of my chapter-mates (I love you, Janece!) said: This size book needs a 10 page synopsis. (my paraphrase). So okay. I stretch it out to 10. Then I got it to five. Then 1. But how, exactly, am I supposed to show my voice, show the conflicts, both internan and external, show the plot, introduce the characters and wrap it all up in five friggin' pages?! I'm a WRITER. I use WORDS to an extreme! I don't know how to make things simple. I think I was cursed or something. "From this moment on, the girl child that will be known as Brenda Gay Bobo Bradshaw shall never have a simple solution to anything!"

I think it's written in stone. You think not? Convince me otherwise! ~waaaa~
I sound like I need a pacifier!

So I've been entering these contests, right? I already know I finaled on The Merritt, and the way sucky thing is they changed the final judging editor. I'd hoped for Jessica Alvarez. She was supposed to do this one plus the Fab Five of Wisc, but I heard they changed it. Kinda ticks me off. Anyway, I entered The Merritt, Fab Five, and then The Daphne. (My book is really the strongest in The Daphne because I made some solid changes in yet another revision ...side note: First chapter has been revised like 398570348 times. I did NOT just make up that number randomly!) And now I want to enter The Sheila. Well, in THIS contest, they need a 7 page synopsis.

Sadists that they are.

And yes, I know I need a good synop. I flooded every agent listed with RWA, I believe, last year. Which totally sucks because I've learned SO much in the last 9 months and more importantly, I APPLIED it to the story. BUT, I've already been rejected by just about everyone out there. And with good reason, looking back! I sent the stuff out when I had no idea of anything, my tenacity coming and bitin' me in the butt. But the book is changed. Even the basic premise is changed. (For those that knew Jon, you'll want to strangle Jake! ~grin~) Do I think this story would sell NOW? Absolutely. Did I burn a lot of bridges already by sending it out too soon and before I learned so much? Absolutely. ~sigh~

If I continue to place in the contests I'm in, I'll resubmit it to my A-list agents I want (Evan Fogelman, this means YOU!) I'm hoping to get the synop totally re-done today to go out for The Sheila tomorrow. Deadline is Friday. Have I mentioned yet that I procrastinate? I'll blame it on the four kids.

I know I'm whining. I understand that completely. I'm sure by the end of the day, this particular post will have been editted a billion and one times with updates and pictures of me being bald from pulling my hair out.

A special thanks to Gina Welborn for the fabulous critique of my synop. I'd eagerly welcome you as an additional critique partner. You not only give solid advice, but any mother of four deserves special treatment anyway. Have I mentioned I have four kids? ~wink~ Seriously, you did fantastic work and I truly appreciate it.

I had planned on using today to start a "book review" area, but that ain't happenin', I don't guess. Be sure to check back every now and then to see my reviews.

And to see if I'm bald yet. ~grrr~

In local news: Julie Kenner is interviewed in Austin!

Since I don't live in Austin, I don't get the paper. But I heard on our email loops that she has a TERRIFIC interview in the Life Section of the Austin paper.

Julie just recently sold her book to Chris Columbus (same guy that did the first two Harry Potter movies!) and we're all excited about it. She has written 20 books in 5 years! What a standard to measure ourselves against. ~shoves the feelings of inadequacy away~ I finally got to meet Julie at last month's ARWA meeting. I was so excited, and she's just as sweet in person as she is online. I hope to one day be as accomplished as she is! (Like I told my best buddy and one of my critique partners, maybe if *I* could sell to Chris Columbus, I could finally do something with my HAIR!!! I just recently whacked off 10" but STILL not 100% happy with it! I think it needs a NY salon make-over, but I gotta get to NY first!) Oh hush. I can dream, right? Right. Whoa, I got off course big time. Back to the topic at hand. (It's the meds. Yes, it is.)

If you want to read more about her and the wonderful things going on in her world, there's a link to her site here on the left listed under FAVORITE AUTHORS. I promise you'll be treating yourself to a wonderful time.

And also, congrats to all our members that recently finaled in The Merritt Contest (yours truly included) as well as our Golden Heart and Rita Finalists! ARWA is the best.

Don't argue.

Bloggin', Bloggin', Bloggin'...Gotta keep on bloggin'!

Gotta keep on bloggin', AWAY!

Man, I'm losin' it big time, eh? I've been changing and adding stuff all night, and I'm dizzy from html code. And I'm not even a blonde. ~ducks from the blondes out there~

I got a huge box in the mail today of more books. If you're in the market for a certain book, I highly suggest eBay seller sjtaylor. She is super sweet, combines shipping, and has this huge honker selection of books, many of which are 1st editions. Today I got some more of my favs: Sandra Brown and Jenny Crusie, but added some new I hadn't read. My TBR (To Be Read) shelf is bulging now like Bubba after a Thanksgiving buffet. But, I need to research my line, right? Right. So I wrote suspense, and I had to have the basics: Lisa Gardner, Sandra Brown, Linda Howard, Suz Brockmann, Tami Hoag. It's like...law. At least it should be. And I'm still collecting those as I find them.

But NOW I'm researching comedy, since so many people are telling me I have that "voice". THAT means a ton of new books! There are a lot I just got today that I hadn't heard of, and I love it. So here's your assignment: Color outside the lines. Get outta the rut. Go and buy a new book from an author you've never read before. Because who knows? Someday that new author just may be me. ~grin~

Woot! Got the cherry pin!

Kind of sad I get all excited about winning a cherry pin from eBay, but with my life, I'll take what little excitement gets thrown my way, okay? As soon as I figure out how to post a picture on here, I'll put it up!

Now I gotta dig around and find my other pins. Austin Pin, PRO Pin, Dallas Nationals Pin (Eeks...no idea) and now I can add the cherry pin!

~frowns for a moment~ I realized I'm doing what my teenager does. Her backpack is COVERED in different buttons for her music groups she likes, as well as weird sayings.

My favorite being: I am the pink flamingo on the green lawn of life.

My best bud, Shari, uses that. Which reminds me to pop back over to our MSN window and tell her about the flamingo pin I saw from the same chick that I got my cherry pin from! And lookie there, we've come full circle to what this post started out at. Boy, I'm magical. ~eye twitch~

Blogspot

Sounds like toss-spot. Like.....*everytime* I read it. I'm either exceedingly tired, or I've finally gone mental beyond all hope. We're going with the first one, just to pacify me, okay? Thanks.

~Finding Neverland~

I find it horribly amusing that I'm sitting here wanting to write about the movie I just saw, and yet words fail me and I stare at an empty screen.

As a writer, I am awed and amazed.
As a child, I am dazzled by the magic of it all.
As a daughter, I watch my greatest fear realized in losing a mother.
As an adult, I find better understanding of my four children.
And as mother, my heart is simply broken.

Do I recommend this movie?

Absolutely.
Take tissues.

Blogging for Dummies

I'm a writer. Not an IT Tech. Not a web-designer (although the chick in my book is...hmmm) so I'm lost on this entire blogging design stuff, and I can't afford to have someone else do it for me.

Hopefully someone reading this will be able to help me out. I tried to put a counter in like Karyn suggested. Got through the registration and then got lost. No idea what it was saying. Now I want to create a link section on here, one listing other blogs I like to read, and one listing some of my favorite authors and the links to their pages. But, I cannot find anywhere in here where I can do that, and I don't know enough about code and stuff.

But I can make code sound scary.
Or sad.
Or happy.
Or screaming in orgasm.

See? I have talents, just not THIS talent. As my dear friend Devon would say when she's frustrated: RAH!

Okay, whine off.

Dressing to the Nines - Nationals

I'm all kinds of excited. I just ordered my dress for the Kiss of Death banquet in which one of my all time fav authors is the keynote (Jennifer Crusie). And here in ...oh...*eyes the clock* 1 1/2 hours, I'm ordering my 2nd dress, the one I'll wear to the Ritas. Last year, my first year at Nationals, I just wore a Sunday dress and felt horribly UNDER dressed. This year will be so much better and I'm excited about it. It really does kind of feel like Cinderella getting ready for the ball. Or Brendarella. Or Writerella. Whatever. You get the idea.

I just found this fabulous new group that has fans of J.C. on it, and of course, I joined. And we have our "cherry" nicknames, which I think is just so cute. Also, it sounds like some are wearing cherry pins on their nametags at Nationals, so here I am scootchin' over to eBay again, this time with a cherry pin in mind!! The differences in last year and this year still just blow me away. Blown is good.

I like it.

Today is Easter Sunday. The kids are filling up on chocolate. I'd admit that I don't care for chocolate all that much, save for the rare occasions when I can't get enough, but I'm afraid such an omission may get me kicked out of being a romance writer. And that just wouldn't do a'tall.

So it's Easter, in Texas. Normally this is a lovely day for egg hunting and the such. Not today! You know it's chilly in Texas in the spring when your husband, from UPSTATE NEW YORK (and from on top of a mountain at that!) declares it "cold" outside. Thankfully, we have a monster size house, so the kids will hunt for eggs in here.

In the meantime, my house still looks like Walmart spewed chunks. I still haven't gotten us totally unpacked from Spring Break last week, or from the many trips I was taking back and forth to Dallas. And I'm STILL tired from that.

Speaking of tired, time to take the meds again before I forget. I was cutting back because of all the driving. I'm already drowsy on long car trips, don't need to add the sedatives and muscle relaxers and pain killers to THAT. Bad, BAD mix, it would be. So now I'm trying to get back to my 3x a day, and it's kickin' my butt. Badly. I hate rebuilding my tolerance levels back up. (If you're new to The Land of Brenda, I have fibro with bursitis complications. No cure, just pain management. Took awhile for a diagnosis because I'm only 35 and they rarely see bursitis in someone my age.) Doc says my body is like a 70 yr. old. Nice. Now I know why I'm saggin' in the chest so badly.

Today is only my second day to post on the blog and I'm hoping to make it a daily habit. Please stop by often, and comment at will.

~smoochas~

In the beginning...

There was a blog. And the blog was good. And Brenda smiled at the blog. Thankfully, the blog didn't smile back.

Then Bren went to bed, because she had to get up early to be the Easter Bunny Mutant Freak in the morning.