Saturday, July 16, 2005

Men vs. Women

Yanno how there are those people in our lives that want something from us? Different people pulling you a billion and one different ways? And there seems to always be something in it for them, and although you know this deep down, you still haven't figured what "that" is for some of them? I have a few in my life like this. Well, okay, I have one. All they want from me is a blog entry.

I'm not even kidding.

And it's a guy.

~pauses for a moment while all the chicks reading this think on it~

Yes, that's right. There's a guy out there that wants NOTHING MORE from me than a blog entry. How odd is that? Usually if it involves a male and me, there's an alterior motive. He wants another photo. Or he wants me to talk to him, or he wants...well, you know. But not this one. I never hear a word out of him until I go more than a few days between entries. Then, I get the "eye".

Now while this may seem weird (yeah, well, okay, it IS weird), I find it endearing (he's going to scowl when he reads "endearing" used to describe him as he reads this) but it IS endearing. He knows how important my writing is to me and what satisfaction I get out of just blogging and letting my thoughts ramble on. I think he may be my badge holder. The one that reads "I'm a writer". When I forget, he peals off the back and slaps it back on my shirt (or forehead) to remind me. And yes, we're going with a peal off back, because he has this mean side to him, so we're really, REALLY not going to let him have a name badge with a stick-pin on the backside, k? Thanks.

So I was rambling to him (he doesn't reply unless it's about my blog) about picking and choosing different elements of different guys, what's great about them, what totally sucks. His comment: Blog it. (He's really, really a blabbermouth sometimes. Two-word reply that must be a full moon.)

(He's rolling his eyes now, by the way.)

So okay, I'll blog it. What do men need from a woman? They want beauty. They want brains (sometimes). They want confidence and sexy and blah blah blah. I imagine they want tall and thin and someone that looks like she hasn't eaten at Burger King EVER, much less twice this week. ~blink~ But most of the guys I know don't want that skinny chick. Hard to believe, but they really, honestly, seem to like curves. Where we see fat, they see soft. While most of the times in my life I felt like men looked at my chest while I spoke, those good guys seemed to want nothing more than to look into my eyes, sometimes to the point of having to move my hair back from my face to do so.

So what do WE want? What's your "perfect" guy? I want it all: Looks, jobs, personality, his family. What does he do? What does he look like? What's his family like? What's his personality like? What total package of a guy does it for you? (If you're a guy reading, reverse those questions to apply to girls. If you're married, spare me that mushy shyt about "My wife is my ideal." Cuz puhleeze, there's no real ideal that wraps it ALL up, so let's not pretend there is. There's close, but there's no perfection, which is why romance makes up such a huge chunk of the sales: We read what doesn't exist so we can live that fantasy. Don't argue with me, either, because that's like...MATH.)

I was in a chat room one time (well, I'm in there ALL the time, so let me start over.) One day when I was in the chat room that I frequent, this girl was saying, "We have to be thin with big tits and a tiny waist and long hair and a perfect face with blue eyes. Men? They just have to be tall."

Fitting, isn't it? Have you read a romance lately where the hero WAS NOT tall? Didn't think so.

Yeah, actually... my Blog Hero, he's tall, too.

Told ya.


Michelle McGinnis said...

Wow, unbelievable! You are so dead on. After reading in this post that "...most of the guys I know don't want that skinny chick" I of course had to ask my sick-to-death-of-pondering-romance husband if he'd rather sleep with a girl who's a little too fat or a little too skinny, and he not only confirmed "too fat, no question" but went on to say that women who looked like Camryn Manheim were infinitely less scary than women like Calista Flockheart. And yes, we went there - he'd rather sleep with Camryn than Calista. God bless America!

As for what I look for in a man... strong, definitely. Someone who I don't fear crushing when I get the urge to sit on his lap or jump on him in frenzied lust. Smart, passionate - about anything, everything - and funny. Interested in learning stuff, and able to adapt. Able to make lots of money if he wants because he's so smart and passionate and able to adapt. A good relationship with his family, who are also cool interesting people in their own rights. And oh so much more! I want the ginzu knives and free spoons of the man world. I want the incredible sex and tender little moments and compliment at *just* the right time. I want EVERYTHING. You gotta shoot high, right?

Thanks for the fun post - I really like your blog.

Nic said...

I have to say that I need someone who I can talk to for hours and not ever get tired. Someone who makes me laugh and want to be silly, someone who never once for a minute makes me think that they have eyes for someone else. Someone who flirts but only with me. Someone I can trust with my heart and that makes me trust that they will NEVER find anyone else out there better than me and don't feel the need to act like they'd like to find out. I don't need to be pampered or have flowers all the time or even occasionally, I just want to know that I am loved, wanted and desired by said man so that I can see the flames in his eyes as he looks at me an instant before sweeping me off my feet. Tall and looks are nice too. The other is more important though!

Nic said...

And guys, here is something that one of my best friends in the world said:

You want to know why overweight women are soooooo much better in bed? Because we have to be in order to compete with the skinny chicks. (She was a size 32 and is now down to an 18)

Amen and amen to that one. I myself am a nice size 14/16 and have to agree.

Gina Ritter said...

I've been the tall, thin, big tits, blue eyed, blonde girl and it sucks. I got a lot of strange old men looking at me. Of course I wasn't waif thin, so maybe that's the problem.

Now I'm a tall, fat, big titted and blue eyed, blonde. I get nothing but strange old men.

Ok, maybe it's just me.

I want a guy who is a few inches taller than me, who is built hard as a rock, shaved head, tribal tatoos, sports loving, can throw me around in bed, but can also cuddle with the kids.

What have I got? Nothing even remotely close to that but he's a good dad, a hard worker, and strong. And when I'm close to him, I can't help but lick his neck.

He's nothing like I would have looked for (he even had hair down to his ass when we met) but I couldn't stop myself and walk away.

I even walked away from the taller, shaved head, built like a brick shit house guy for him. I guess that says something about the personality he has and the power of the pheremones.

He's far from perfect, but I can write perfection into my stories and still have his neck to lick.

randy said...

I live in Southern California where if you're not thin, don't have big FAKE tits, wear a belly ring, and have long blonde hair, men don't give you a second look. Even the old, fat, bald guys...who think by virtue of owning a penis they deserve hot chicks.

Okay, rant over. My perfect guy is one who can make me laugh. I DO tend to go for lean guys but not muscled. I'd rather a guy spent time working on his mind, not his abs. That said, I look at his other relationships--parents, siblings, children--to me, respect for his own family is a key indicator. 'Course I haven't been on a date in two years, so that tells you how many of those I've run across lately.

Tess said...

Sorry, Brenda - I WILL say my dh is my ideal. Thoughtful, handsome, loveing, handy, yet also hardnosed, practical and, most of all - fun! He has this smile that STILL makes my heart stop after 17.5 years!

As for women, yep - my dh likes curves. Women who look like models - with nothing on their chests and who likely don't enjoy anything more than a carrot a day don't really interest him. Admittedly I'm still pretty small, but have hips and a tummy that would eliminate me from most fashion mags *g*.

The media is really far off the reality of what BOTH men and women are looking for. IMNSHO.

daioanra said...

Hi Brenda. Do you REALLY want my ideal man? Well ok.

He's GOT to be taller than me. I'm only 5'3" and so that means anything over say...5'5" works for me.

He has to love children, especially mouthy, opinionated, stubborn, beautiful, geeky little girls. Because that's what I've got.

He should be smarter than I am in some things and not as smart as I am in others, so that I can feel smart too.

He's got to be tolerant and have at lest SOME compassion, because I'm mental and need TLC.

Oh and he has to be a good provider.

I'd love a really tall guy with dark hair and blue eyes and a smile that makes my heart melt. Oh and a decent sex drive. I don't care if he's moody as long as he loves me. It'd be nice if he was in shape and healthy. But, I'm not completely in shape or healthy, so it's not manditory.

Gosh Brenda would ya looky there? I described my ideal mate, and he IS my mate. Well, except for the dark hair thing. But he has a pretty head.

Hedvig said...

Gosh, it's been so long since I had a real one that I can't even remember what I like. Sad.

I lied. Passionate, smart, capable. Did I say smart? 'Cause I've got a high IQ and I really get turned on by the challenge of talking to someone else who can challenge me. And did I say capable? I'm a girly girl who needs someone who's good at practical stuff, 'cause without that, we're in deep doodoo. Gotta have a sense of humor, similar to mine, and I don't get Monty Python or the Three Stooges.

Slender but muscled, like Josh Wald, is the ideal body type for me. (you need to expand this window to see it properly, best pic I could find easily) A guy who comes by his muscles honestly - no steroids and obssessive working out, he's a pro skateboarder, btw (makes for some really nice thighs, doesn't it?).

Oh, and he has do love me to distraction. That's where the passionate comes in. \;-)

Dadio said...

Hi Brenda,

I'm back from the dead and trying to catch up on all of your posts.

Anyway, my wife always tells me that I was definitely not her type. I could never really pin her down on what her type was, but it wasn't me, and it changes all the time.

My secret for success was always being clean, not stinking, and trimming my fingernails. Apparently women really like clean and trimmed fingernails. A lot of guys don't know that.