Mornings Suck & Blog Guilt

It's 7am. In the summer, with no school to get the kids ready for, that should be illegal. Period. No questions asked.

So why am I up, you ask? Because I'm apparently a masochist. This chick up at the salon wanted someone to practice arcrylics on...for free. So I'm like, "Cool! Free nails!" And apparently I'm the only person that fell for this.

~insert gullible face here~

Now, my nails grow fast, and get pretty long. But then they start to split and stuff, so I basically ignore them, just occasionally filing them. She was going to do (and did) just a top arcylic layer to help with the splitting. Uh huh. Right. So after soaking off the "mess ups" for the fourth time now, my nails are shot to hell and as fragile as gossamer. Not kidding. Breaking off like crazy, so she (and the "teacher") are putting on tips today. Since I'm leaving for DFW today, she said, "Come in at 8am and we'll get you fixed up before you go."

And like the moron I am, I said, "OKAY!"

Since I don't wake up on my own...ever...I had to have B wake me up before he went back on his 72 hour shift. Which meant 6:30am. I don't wake up that early DURING school hours. I've lost my freakin' mind. It's all that acetone I've been soaking in. I swear.

So yeah, I'm leaving today for DFW and I won't be home until the 3rd. Therefore, no more blog updates until then. My parents have a computer, but it's six years old. Add a dial-up connection to it, and I'd rather gargle with razorblades than get online while at their house. Call me spoiled, but I LOVE my cable connection. I should have a crapload of stories to regale you all with when I get back though.

And I'm dealing with blog guilt. I tend to visit other blogs and spend 2-3 hours doing that and nothing else, blog hopping around and reading and posting, or visit none at all, and with the writing I've been doing lately, that means I haven't been visiting. I hope to get in an hour or so today before I go, because frankly, I miss it. I love to read what all you other guys are doing. In the meantime, I deal with guilt.

That, btw, is NOT from the acetone.

And mornings still suck.

Outlining ~cringe~

Any of you out there do this? I don't. I'm a write-as-I-go kinda chick. It got me through a 100K word count story, figured that's just the way I was wired. However...

(there's like, ALWAYS a "however"...~sigh~)

I have SO many projects either started or brewing in my dark little brain that I decided to use one of the books my friend Shari gifted to me, FIRST DRAFT IN 30 DAYS. Thankfully, what I'm finding is what I'd planned. I knew the story I wanted to write, but I want a character driven book, not plot driven, so I needed to get to know my characters better. I was going to do a character sketch anyway, and wouldn't ya know it, that's what I find in step 1 of FIRST DRAFT. Ironic? How about Fate.

That sounds SO much nicer, doesn't it?

And it works, at least so far. I'm getting to know my heroine even better. I knew her "profession" when I started, but now that I know HER, I know exactly why she's a teacher. (I can't tell you, you'll have to wait to buy the book.)

Since I'm planning on writing fulltime in August, with the goal of a first draft in 8 weeks, this style is right up my alley for my individual goals. Should be interesting to see if it works. If I can make it work over this hectic summer schedule, I know it'll work perfectly for when I'm focusing fulltime, writing fulltime.

And all you wonderful people were 100% right. My insecurities of my last post were crap. The writing, thankfully, was good.

See that forest? Yeah, me neither. Too many trees.

So lay on your back and see the endless sky with me instead.

It finally happened - I can't write

So I pick up one of my current seven works in progress (well, two are working in my head, five on computer.) I thought I didn't really feel like writing, but figured once I started, I'd kick right into it like usual and I'd knock out another chapter or so.

HA!

For the first time EVER, it's like pulling teeth. And what I'm writing SUCKS. I realize I can go back and delete it all (thank God for computers, eh?) but the entire SENSATION is just......weird!!! I've HEARD of writers having this problem. Heck, my idol Stephen King wrote about it, I read his thoughts on it, but of course, it's Stephen King, so you don't really think it's that hard for him and he's placating the rest of us peons, right? I'm not so sure anymore.

I'm going to keep going. I can always ditch the scene, right? Right. And really, this is my own fault. I got out of the writing "process" and just like anything, it takes daily work on it to keep the muscles working well. I'm sitting here like one giant brain cramp.

Uncool.

Slow Down Long Enough

* to hear your inner voice

* to rediscover yourself

* to listen and be heard

* to empower one another

I heard this last night at our monthly ARWA meeting. I found it incredibly fitting for myself right now and where I'm at. Most importantly, I loved the last one - empowering each other. I can think of no other profession than writing where support and understanding for another are so important.

Happiness is going home...in a good book

One of my all time favorite author's, Janet Chapman, has her new book out, THE DANGEROUS PROTECTOR. I originally met Janet at Nationals in Dallas last year, and I just love her to death. She was so sweet to me, meeting up outside the hotel in the non-official smoking area and giving this unpubbed great advice and listening to my whining. And she signed THE SEDUCTIVE IMPOSTER, her new release, for me. And it's one of my all time favorite books (I think I mentioned it on the blog post where I listed my fav books and WHY they're my favs). She gives you blinding gorgeous, cavemen men, totally alpha and you want to punch them AND kiss them, and you're not sure in what order. The girls are ones that could be your best friend. And the disciples...omg...well, you're just going to have to read to understand. So, her new one is out, which follows the story of the other sister, and I finished this honker book in just one day. I can only beg Janet to write Jason and Jane's story...or the ever lovely Molly. Please please please...let me keep visiting Puffin Habor!! She makes me want to visit Maine soooooooo badly. The settings are gorgeous, and two of my all time favorite authors live there: Janet and S. King. What could be more perfect?

(sighs happily)

Tragic Hero

As usual, I have to preface this post: I am not a Star Wars fan. BUT, it was playing at the drive-in movies tonight, so we loaded up the van for 6 of us to see a new release for $10. Can't beat it.

And I LOVE this movie. Loved it, loved it, will absolutely buy it. Anakin is beyond a tragic hero. He's moved by a pure love, a love so complete and unmoving. He'd do anything to save her, including betraying himself. And when he finds out she dies, it's absolutely heart-wrenching. The decisions he makes is to save her, and in the end, it did him not an ounce of good. He is the definition of a tragic hero and my heart completely broke for him.

Neat link I found...

I was going to write to Elizabeth Bevarly to tell her how I loved her book, and in googling, I found this really neat site. She is listed on there, but the link doesn't work. However, check it out! A SLEW of romance writers are listed!

Rana's World

I finally did the "duh" thing and just tried elizabethbevarly.com and whatdaknow? *eye twitch* It's now added on the left under FAVORITE AUTHORS.

HE COULD BE THE ONE - Book Review

I just finished Elizabeth Bevarly's HE COULD BE THE ONE, Avon books. I really enjoyed this, and it's one of the few books that is NOT what I'd really call a suspense (there's a small element near the end) that has kept me turning the pages. At one point in the story, my husband actually woke up to ask me what was making me laugh so much. There's this scene about crashing a 20th high school reunion of a school they did not attend, and the results of wearing someone else's name badge and the reputations those names carried. What a RIOT!!!

THIS is exactly what makes me want to write romantic comedy. She has two plots of two couples throughout the story, keeping it fresh and moving the entire time. (Plots are linked through sisters and getting to their OWN reunion.)

This gets a good, solid A from me. Well done. A cute and clever read that makes us remember who we were and where we are now, and the path that we traveled on the journey to get here. Highly recommended.

Save Me From Myself!!!

So, I'm losing weight (it's slowed down a lot, but really, I'm trying not to complain) and I'm workin' out and I just started tanning again (only 10 minutes at a time..don't wanna look fake or get sun damage, after all...but when you go without hose, PLEASE have tanned legs!) Anyway, I keep looking for "cute" things for Reno. And I'm SO broke! ~laughs~ But it's fun to dream: New SMALLER size, cute styles, fabulous costume jewelry. ~sigh~ I did get the new haircut (refers to pic..which I need to change..) so I'm feelin' pretty good. But dang, I'm like...living on eBay!

Don't tell B!

And Reno is such a FABULOUS excuse, right? Right.

~whew~ Thanks for calming me down and giving me that confirmation I was needing! I love you!

Sex vs. Romance

Although really hot on the RWA chatlines, this isn't about romance vs. erotica or what covers are presented on books from the art department or if it's fair to ban certain books from the RWA booksigning, even if their publisher is RWA recognized. There are a crapload of blogs out there covering that, but this isn't one of those blogs.

What's on my mind is more of body vs. mind. Although they say that the brain is the largest sexual organ, it's no secret that sex and emotions can and often are separate issues. And not just in the realm of prostitution. In our homes as well. But ideally, what would we want? What is it we crave?

We want to writhe around in slick sweat, panting and wanting and clawing and needing anything, everything, right there in that immediate moment. But it's what got us to that moment that's the most important, I think. We want romance. We want to know the other person wants us, in their mind, in their soul, in their hearts, as much as we want them. We want them to want us just as desperately, to want to feel our mouths, our hands, and our bodies under theirs. It's the mental connection between people that is what's powerful, that's what makes the brain the largest sexual organ. That all-encompassing feeling, your heart and your mind so full of emotion you think you may simply explode with the pressure of it, that no mere mortal body can contain that sensation without bursting. And that's what leads to the writhing and the sweating and the ultimate release.

Some can separate it. And some do so willingly. A girl's mouth is merely for deep-throating, her crotch just for him to have something warm to hump against. And how shallow is that? Who wants that? I know I don't. I want that estatic RIGHT NOW moment, and then that moment afterward, the free falling into arms that want to hold me, the voice that whispers in the dark to me, the one that slays my inner demons and dares me to dream higher and higher.

It's the passion. The romance. And ultimately, the love.

That's what I want, that's what I need, and I don't think I'll ever settle for less again.