Sunday, February 26, 2006

The Horned Weiner

So I have this little long-haired dachshund named Joe-Joe. I call him the hairy weiner. (A short-haired doxie is a weiner dog, so a long-haired much be a hairy one, right? Of course.) The problem with Joe is he thinks he's a Pit Bull.

And, speaking of bulls.... Well, let me backtrack a moment. Joe likes to run off if given the chance. Problem is, the new house sits on a road in the country with a speed limit of 55 mph. Not good for a dog with exceedingly stumpy legs measuring about 3" total.

So Joe got loose and darted off like a bat outta Hell. I'm screaming for him to get back (yes, there's a lot of screaming to be had in the country) and all of the sudden, he darts right under the barbed-wire fencing to the Longhorn Bulls.

Did you know that if a dog goes running and barking at a young, smaller calf that the big GIANT HORNED bulls will rush to defend it? Me either. Now I know though.

Joe, being a smart dog, felt his ass pucker all the way up the length of his long, stretched out dachshund body. Now Longhorns are tall, lanky things, so imagine their legs running after Mr. Three Inch Legs (that sounds like a title for a song...Hmm.)

The bulls have their heads down, aiming those long, long horns right at Mr. Stumpy who is high-tailing it as fast as he can, but it's really no contest. B tells me to go inside and make sure the kids don't walk out in time to see a Joe Kabob. I panicked just a bit at the visual and scurried inside.

Joe's saving grace ended up being his height, or lack thereof. The bulls' noses were longer than Joe's height so they couldn't get the horns down low enough. By the time B got out into the field (Of COURSE it was a rainy day), Joe was hunkered down in the dead grass, praying and whimpering to the doggy-gods. The horns were sliding a mere inch over his body. It was a close call, to say the least.

The bulls shooed off as B walked up to Joe, and from the window, I swear I saw Joe french B in thanks. B denies it.

13 comments:

Shari said...

OMG - that is so funny!!! Poor Joe-Joe. Hopefully he will learn a lesson from this...

Life on the farm... ain't it grand?

daionara said...

I'm laughing, but at the same time I'm cringing. Poor Joe.

See Brenda, you need one more like Skyler. You know, afraid of his own shadow and ready to run away when he catches a glimpse of his tail.

Kelly said...

Oh my god, I'm laughing so hard my pod mates are telling me to shut up or they'll throw something over the wall. Glad Joe's okay!

cathy said...

What a riot----live and learn Joe---live and learn!!!

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Yikes! What's a pod mate? That sounds... freaky.

Seriously, my life is just not right. I should blog about the geriatric train we had to wait on today. (sigh)

Duke_of_Earle said...

BB,

Having had a miniature short-haired weiner once, I understand both the short-lived bravado and the frenching part. Our Weinie had the quickest tongue this side of an anteater going after fire ants. We called her motion the "lunge-lick."

Great post. (Hey, that's two in a row about animals. You ARE getting "countrified.")

John

Brenda Bradshaw said...

LOL John, and I already have one to go for tomorrow! Shocking, isn't it??

Dy said...

LMAO omg the Doxie Gods were watchin over ole Joe that's for sure!!!!

Think he'll ever un-pucker? *grin*

kacey said...

wow, sometimes I think there is a Doxie guardian angel. There is no other way that our two doxies have survived this long...

Wow, glad your doxie is okay!

Lynn Daniels said...

LOL! I'm loving your stories. Keep 'em coming!

(Poor little Joe. Has he recovered from his Close Encounter of the Bull Kind?)

Brenda Bradshaw said...

HEE! Kacey!!! I'm so glad to see you back over here! I swear one day soon my life will calm down and I can blog hop again - right now I'm grateful to just be blogging at ALL given how bad I was about it last year. Baby steps, right?

Lynn - He's SO funny. In the cyclone fence, where the bulls CANNOT remotely get to him, he'll pass them and eye outta the side of his head, like he won't look right AT them, but keeps them in his side vision.

And I haven't even blogged about Rupert's blitz attacks on him. Poor Joe-Joe has been taken down a few notches. We already had the cat that's bigger than him and aggravated his "short man" issues, and these things only add to his lowering self-esteem.

He needs a therapist.

Lynn Daniels said...

LOL! He sounds like he'd make a great Jennifer Crusie-style secondary character!

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Well YEAH! Think I don't have plans for that in the making?! (wink)