Friday, March 17, 2006

Greet This, Weiner Dog!

You've been hearing about Joe, the hairy weiner, but I haven't told you about Rupert and Joe together. Joe talked a lot of smack when Rupert was stuck in the dog crate at the other house in the mudroom for a month. He'd snarl and snap and show his mean doggie teeth to the caged Rupert. Rupert stared at him with that one-eyed stare, and if Joe got too close to the cage, BITCH-PECK! Right on the nose. Joe would go ballistic trying to get into that cage.

And then, of course, we were at the farm.

Where Rupert was free to roam.

We introduced Joe.

~pausing for effect~

Well, Joe's a dog. So Joe did the usual doggy greeting. Surprisingly, Joe wasn't all that intent on chowing down on the rooster; he just wanted to shove his nose up Rupert's butt repeatedly. Rupert, being the Grumpy One that he is, didn't really go for this. After about 5 minutes of that long doxie nose up his rump, Rupert pecked.

And Joe had this MAJOR post-traumatic flashback of the mudroom/cage days and went crazy after Rupert.

Well, Rupert's a rooster - cock fight!!! Rupert WAILED on Joe. I was panicking (as usual) and we put Joe back inside and decided to try it again the next day.

Have I mentioned we're slow learners yet?

So here comes Joe outta the house, sniffing the yard, eyeing Choxie the mini-pony. Where's Rupert? Noooooooo idea.

From the corner of my eye comes this rush of feathers and squawking, and there was NO preparing for the absolute Blitz Attack Rupert unleashed on Joe. Talons latched into Joe's thick long hair, wings flailing like a tornado, feathers totally PREDATOR looking, all pushed out and huge as he repeatedly PECKED PECKED PECKED Joe on the head. Joe squealed like a little girl and hid behind me while B was doing what looked like the Pee-Pee Dance trying get ahold of Rupert while I was screaming, "NO RUPERT! NO!" and frantically circling as a human barrier between the two as Joe cowered behind me, once again suffering from puckered-doggy-ass syndrome.

If we set up webcams, I swear people would pay to secretly watch our lives.

5 comments:

Dy said...

Oh my GOD...that is just too funny! I know *I* would pay to watch it! Hopefully Rupert will LEARN to stay away from the dang bird!

wolfie said...

OMG!!! poor Joe!!! someday he'll learn not to pick on roosters!!!!!

Duke_of_Earle said...

Secretly, HELL! We'd pay to sit in the bleachers. Must have been some scene!

Val said...

Brenda you just might be onto something there... LOL... Forget The Osbournes, and Paris and Nicole...it's The Brenda Bradshaw Show! Sure Cable might pick it up...toss 'em an offer! Let Rupert do the negotiating! LOL!

(I cannot remember how I stumbled onto your blog, but I do enjoy it! Thank you for allowing me to stop by now, and then!)

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Val, you just come on over to my little slice of insanity whenever you dang well feel like it! I love having you here!