Many thanks to those that have written me wondering where I am. Unfortunately, Karyn, no, I haven't been busy writing. I've been busy doing nothing.
Well, I did join Weight Watchers. So I guess that's something, right?
My funk is still here. I can't write. I tried to write one day, and it was such crap - I mean, even two days later it was crap. I try to read craft books, to spur me on or something, and I can't even concentrate on the page, much less take notes. I have been sick the last few days, but even that's not an excuse since it's been almost a month since I was going to start writing fulltime. I just don't know...
My critique partner is ready to send me yet another manuscript. I told her I'd be all over it - it's not like I'm doing anything else, right? This was her reply (hope you don't mind, Chris.) "You were always the aggressive one willing to work on her manuscript until it was the best you could do no matter what anyone else said!"
What's happened to me? I have no idea. I'm not even visiting writing blogs anymore - I'm not replying on the writing email loops anymore. I've got my wonderful, beautiful site up and going (Dadio - you do so rock!) and yet...nothing. What will it take to get my ass in gear again? I have no idea. If I KNEW, really knew what was wrong, I'd fix it. But...I don't. I don't know. I just feel... hmm... lost. I'm floating around, with no destination, no hope, just seeing where time takes me and not being in control over it. I'm like a heroine that's too dumb to live.
In just a couple of weeks, Shari's flying down and we'll be attending the KOD Writing Retreat in San Antonio. One of the things they just said in an email was to bring a work in progress and highlighters. Holy crap - I have nothing to show them. NOTHING. I haven't worked on anything. Deidre Knight wanted my stuff and I'm too much a loser to get it done and to her. And now the KOD thing is coming up and all I feel is panic, and Evan Fogelman is going to be there!!!
I have a feeling that if I don't get my brain wrapped around this problem soon, I'm going to miss too many opportunities and I'll have killed my own career before it even got started.
I have nothing to contribute to the great literary blog world today. More than anything, I wanted to let you know that I'm still here, but still not writing. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll be able to blog hop and see what the rest of you fabulous people are doing, and that'll jump start me into some kind of motivation over *something*. Hell, over ANYTHING.
Thanks for hangin' in there with me. You guys are the best support anyone could dream of...