Bloggy thingies...

I want to do RSS feeds from my favorite blogs, but I have no idea how to do this. Surely someone here knows.

I did not call you Shirley, so don't even start with the jokes.

Also, as I mentioned, I cleaned out my blogroll of names of people I didn't even know and plan on putting new ones that I do read regularly. If you want yours listed, just drop a comment.

And to email me, it's brendabradshaw@gmail.com - I'm about to go into the template and see if I can find a way to put a link in there.

And life in general is aggravating me to epic porportions.

100

I got this idea from my friend Kat's blog. 100 random things about me:

1) I don’t really like chocolate.
2) I collect Santas, quilts, baskets and oil lamps.
3) I want to be Jennifer Crusie when I grow up.
4) I think Evil Editor is rockin’ cool and I don’t even know who he is.
5) I think people watch too much tv.
6) I have a huge, huge phobia of snakes.
7) My first pet was a poodle named Pancake which was then ran over by a car. Bad name for a dog.
8) When I’m nervous, I rip at my toenails.
9) I took the time to explain to my mother that my screaming of “OH MY GOD” during labor was not taking God’s name in vain, since I was literally pleading.
10) That same birth, I ordered pizza afterward and my mother said I wouldn’t have craved that if I’d just seen what she had. I didn’t need to know that.
11) I like made up words, like “hork” and “extramarricular”. I claim the first. BAT gets the second.
12) I really, really love ghost hunter shows even though I don’t believe in ghosts.
13) One of my dreams is to travel around to the most haunted places just to see for myself.
14) I have a thing for plaid and checked fabrics.
15) I like puffy Cheetos but not the crunchy ones.
16) I read 3-4 novels a week.
17) I have a huge, huge fear of success.
18) I fight the label “lazy” in my own mind.
19) I innately believe in Happily Ever After, even if I never experience it for myself.
20) Rachel Ray’s voice grates on my nerves, but I still find myself watching her stuff if I come across it.
21) I have three tattoos.
22) I don’t think I could spend $500+ on shoes, even if I had the money to do so. But I could on a purse.
23) I love to people watch.
24) I can read people well, but I’m a horrible judge of character.
25) I understand the mentality of cutters.
26) John Edwards freaks me out.
27) I think I talked to my grandmother once when she was a butterfly.
28) Commando is the best way to go.
29) I want a fourth tattoo.
30) I got beaten up by a ski lift when I was 13 in Red River, Colorado.
31) I haven’t taken my younger two kids to the beach yet.
32) I can start novels but can’t seem to finish them (aside from one).
33) I can pass a lie detector when lying.
34) Today is February 3rd and I still have Christmas stuff out.
35) I’m in denial that I am old enough to have a child graduating high school this year.
36) I love fireplaces.
37) I love rainy days.
38) I believe that reverse discrimination is hugely ignored.
39) I love cold.
40) I am blessed with some truly good friends who I know will be friends for life.
41) I wish I could re-do from 9th grade to college.
42) I’m a lucid dreamer.
43) I want to stop smoking but I’m afraid of gaining weight and going through withdrawals.
44) I believe kissing is more intimate than intercourse.
45) There are moments in my life that I wish I could freeze forever.
46) My son has the longest eyelashes ever.
47) House is my favorite show on TV, followed by SVU. Only shows I purposefully watch.
48) DVR is a kickin’ invention.
49) I only like Hershey Kisses with almonds.
50) I love to bake, but don’t very often because I hate to clean up.
51) I refuse to buy generic toilet paper, peanut butter or sliced cheese.
52) A Knight’s Tale is the greatest movie ever.
53) Heath Ledger was the first death of someone I didn’t know which made me cry.
54) I want a basset hound and name him Casanova.
55) I don’t believe that sitting in a church pew will make or break your entry to heaven.
56) I think most attorneys get a bad rap on their reputations and jokes.
57) I could care less about Aggies vs. Longhorns.
58) I love all things vanilla. Candles, shampoo, lotion, food.
59) Basic things like toilet paper, deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo should be free. ‘Cause ew.
60) Gluttony is disgusting beyond words.
61) I innately believe in karma.
62) I love wildflowers.
63) Facial piercings make me want to grab it and rip it out of their face because it’s distracting when I’m trying to talk to them.
64) I hate white walls in houses.
65) I had a weird pseudo brain tumor thing in 92 that I never bothered to learn to spell.
66) Yankee Candles are the best candles ever.
67) I have cankles.
68) My brain doesn’t wrap around 900 channels and nothing but crap on tv.
69) My parents were the best parents kids could hope for.
70) Amish people have the right idea.
71) I voted for Ross Perot twice.
72) I adore George Bush and his family.
73) Right now, at this moment, I understand why some animals end up eating their young.
74) I sleep with four feather pillows.
75) If a doctor’s office charges you for missing an appointment, we should charge them per minute we have to wait past our appointment time sitting in the waiting room.
76) Dentists are sadists.
77) I wish Fred Thompson had made a serious run for President.
78) I cannot sleep without a heavy blanket on me, even in the summer. The weight of a sheet, or nothing at all, and I wake up.
79) I want to own a bottle of My Insolence. It smells great and the name is awesome.
80) I do not believe in abortion unless it’s from a crime or the mother’s health is in jeopardy, and even then, I’m iffy.
81) Ron White is a riot.
82) I drink Diet Coke just for the taste of it.
83) I’ve met over 400 people from the Internet.
84) Arch angels have just got to be the baddest of the bad.
85) I refuse to use the motorized scooters in Walmart and instead use the wheelchair if I need to. I hate the BEEP BEEP of backing up. Stick a WIDE-LOAD sign on it and make it more obnoxious, k?
86) I LOVE LUCY is a timeless sitcom. I really want to own all the seasons on DVD.
87) I hate floral scents.
88) I love the word serendipity. The sound of it, the definition of it. Even the movie.
89) My favorite mixed drink is Long Island Iced Tea.
90) Jared from the Subway commercials? Yeah… wanna kick him in the teeth.
91) I hate chat/text speak and refuse to use it.
92) I want to go on a cruise.
93) I don’t CARE if Ryan Seacrest is gay or not.
94) No, I’m not related to Terry Bradshaw. No, I’m not related to Carrie Bradshaw. By the way, Carrie Bradshaw is a fictional character. Hello…?
95) Music drastically affects my moods.
96) I had a gum transplant in 1988 and I’m going to have to have another one. Ouch.
97) I think it’s funny the Patriots went all year undefeated but then lost the Super Bowl tonight. (No, I didn’t watch it.)
98) I answer to the name Lira as easily as I do the name Brenda.
99) I wish I’d retained more of the French I learned in high school.
100) I find it intriguing you just sat there and read 99 random odd tidbits of my thoughts.

A Little Too Much of a Good Thing

Have you ever had a moment when you realize your romantic tendencies have gone too far? Have you ever read in a book where it says something like, "This was real life, not a romance novel" even though, obviously, it WAS in a book? When you hear the phrase "romantic at heart", do you raise your hand and pretend you're not such a romantic that you had an episode of insanity you craved so badly to be real but it wasn't, and you mutter to yourself, "This is real life, not a romance novel"?

Once upon a time, after awhile of internal struggles and personal chaos, I wrote an email, a "Dear John" letter, if you will. I poured myself into it, every ounce of emotion, every drop of despair, every thought that spewed out of me and onto the page. And I stared before hitting send, because that's your "can't turn back" moment, after all, and I read and re-read and questioned and questioned, but in the end, I sent it. And waited. It sounds so horrible to do it via email, but given the mileage between us in that long distance relationship, there really wasn't another option, at least, I felt I'd ran out of them. But I'm a silly girl, right? Err.. WAS a silly girl. When this happened. Anyway...

I'd ended the email with "If you want to discuss this, find me, otherwise I'll assume you agree this isn't what either of us wanted" (paraphrased, of course) and waited to see if I heard a word. And waited. And waited. And finally, with the hours of silent confirmation, I came to the conclusion that he agreed with me. The bandage had been ripped.

Four hours later I left to run an errand. On the windshield was a small piece of paper. Nothing on it. But it was under the blade and I couldn't figure out why or how or anything like that. Then, as I drove down the highway, I passed this truck that looked incredibly familiar and I noted the time: time for him to drive to me to make that effort to show me, prove to me, erase all questions, to snag just one night of precious time when we could, when I felt so lost, so alone, so in doubt. And it explained why I hadn't heard a word. It made *sense*. As I passed the truck on the highway, in my rearview mirror, I saw the brake lights come on. I convinced myself that my brain was wanting it to be something it wasn't. I made myself keep driving to the store.

Of course, I mentally turned it every which way, inside and out, one minute convinced it was him, the next berating myself for being so foolish. On the way home, back down the highway, I passed a black truck and I couldn't see the driver's face, but his hand was stretched passed the steering wheel, and I swear I'm not making this up, his finger was doing that circle motion like "turn around". I blinked. I'm going 50 mph but holy crap, why did I see that? I drove on to my house, up my driveway, and forced myself into the house.

And thought and thought, sitting there. Was it serendipity like when we first met? This was exactly like a novel I might read, one I'd write, that moment when she's convinced it's over and he's literally chasing around a town trying to find her for that huge lovely moment we just flipped through 400 pages to find.

Right?

Guess what?

It really is just a novel. It really is just in a chick flick. I had really read one too many Happily Ever Afters.

Have you ever had a moment that felt it was right out of a novel? If so, please share it so I don't feel like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone. She didn't age well. I don't want that same fate, k? Thanks in advance.

Court is now in Session

Uh huh. Pardon me while I yawn.

For those following the Day in the Life of Cameron Tales, today was the day I was summoned to court. Note just me. Why Cooper's father wasn't listed not only floors me, but he seemed slightly offended by it as well, until he realized I'd be the one in jail for going off on the judge and he could dance along his merry way.

I was scheduled to appear at 9am and in an unusual display of all things odd, I showed up early. There were five other people waiting to be seen, and then I saw the principal waltz in as well. I have a history with this principal from back in the days when Syd went whacko in Kindergarten, and once again, my gaydar dinged so loudly I was convinced others had to have heard it. If they did, they also bit back squeals of laughter as I did, because no one moved. Finally, we were told we could go in. Yippee.

I, of course, showed up in a sweatsuit, no bra (hey now, my jacket was zipped!) and black house slippers. No make-up. I'm 99% sure I didn't bother to brush my hair, although I did take pity on others with my teeth. It was the principle of the matter. Normally, that's what I'd be wearing to deal with house stuff all day, cleaning and laundry and all that jazz, and I'd be damned if I was going out of my way to change my routine for something so inately stupid.

I sat on the front row, smack dab across from the judge. Takes a lot to intimidate me, and he wasn't going to be one who did it. We were then told we were all there on the charge of "Parenting contributing to the nonattendence of a student."

Took everything in me not to stand up and scream, "My FOUR children don't even have to grace your schools ever again. I have the right to HOMESCHOOL them and then guess what? You LOSE those government funds sent to you per student per day they attend!" (Because that's really, really what this is all about, and we all know it.) But I was good and just stared right back at him and decided to not tell him that I'd bill him for the time he was wasting in my day. I had a nap scheduled. I was running late for it now.

They called roll to see who all was there. Lots were missing. He got to "Brenda Bradshaw" and like a good little girl, I raised my hand and said, "Here!" Then the judge, perched way up high on his little throne to look down upon the masses, spoke directly to me for the first time, even though I hadn't been called for my testimony yet. Gulp.

He peered at me and said, "When did the constable serve you?"

Well! Now that you ASKED! "He served me night before last, Monday night, even though this paper states he had the form for a full two weeks before he decided to grace me with his presence."

The judge nodded and made a note. I think the Constable may be getting a spanking, and it explains why so many others hadn't shown up. Said Constable must not be taking his elected job very seriously. Given my experience thus far, I can't really blame him.

The first parents were called up and had to go and sit in the defendents' table. Interesting. I felt like a hillbilly version of Law and Order. The judge read them their rights, told them that if they signed this form, they agreed to waive said rights and they should check the plea they wanted to enter: guilt, no contest, or not guilty.

This is where it got good. I feared I may been the only one to raise a bit of angst, but nooo. The first set of parents (note that BOTH of the parents were on THEIR form, unlike mine) beat me to it, and it took all I had me not to stand and applaud them. They said they were entering not guilty, and requested a trial. Woot! The judge stared. The principal (seated at the table for the state) had his jaw drop to the floor. I had to bite back giggles in the biggest way. Then the guy said: Is it trial by judge or jury? The judge said: Whichever you decided. The guy looked at the judge and said: Oh, definitely by jury.

Oh SLAM! Judge said: I'll send you the paperwork with it scheduled. You're done.

That man and his wife left. What a way to start the day! Hee!!

I was second to last. I got called and sat at the table and Brian sat down next to me (and everytime he sat down with me, he made sure to put a chair between us. Smart man.) The clerk brought me over the papers to sign (everything between the first guy and me had plead guilty - no way in God's green earth was I about to do THAT). I said, "Um, I have a few questions first."

Brian muttered, "Oh God, here we go."

I can't really blame him. Most know my attitude for the stuipd and ignorant and lack of common sense. I have very, very little patience, but I DO start out nice. Promise. I just go from Nice to Verbal Castration at the speed of light should the situation arise. I have at least two people who already told me they had bail money ready, and I had them on speed dial on the cell should I need it.

Judge said, "Go ahead."

Me: "One of his absences was 11/5/07, although he was there for part of the day, and still there at 10:30, so legally he was counted as there. However, we have the dental note stating he had proceedures done on that day. The two days after that date, the 6th and 7th, are two of the days in question as being unexcused."

Judge nodded, having the note in front of him.

I said, "I realize NOW that it has to be in writing, however, on the morning of the 6th, I walked in my son and my 7 yr old daughter and hand delivered the dental notes. Cooper was still dressed in PJs and I had him wrapped in a quilt. I sat him on the desk and the receptionists were all doting on him as he showed them the work done. I told them his mouth was sore from it all, and that I'd be keeping him home for the next couple of days."

Not only was the judge nodding, but so was Gaydar Principal. He'd been in there that morning. He remembered it.

I said, "In my world, I've expressed, as his parent, that he would be absent and the medical reason behind it. If it was an issue, one of the receptionists should have said, 'Here, jot me a note real fast for his folder', but she didn't do that, so I had no reason to believe there was an issue which would later land me in court. I'm requesting those that two days be reversed from unexcused to excused due to the circumstances."

Judge agreed. By law, by the State of Texas, he can do that. He had the school note the change. The school, however, has the right to still view it as four (not now two) unexcused absences. He asked the school if there had been any since, and Principal said, "No." Duh.

Another incident involved a note I DID sent with Cooper after an absence that the teacher never received. I'd sent that thing back with Cooper for DAYS, yet every afternoon, it was still there when I checked his folder. I told the judge that if I, as his parent, am expected to check that folder everyday for notes from his teacher, then that teacher should have the same expectation of her. That was our form of communication and I had the expectation that it worked both way. Judge agreed again. I got to stay nice, which was a little disappointing because I do so love a good verbal castration, but since he has Striped Prison Wear on his side, I guess I shouldn't press my luck.

I expressed my concern over all absences. Cooper missed 3 1/2 days last week during the Epilepy stuff, and I told the judge he'd be out Thursday of this week for pre-op and next Tuesday for his MRI, and of course, I'd have a note. He said that would be fine. I swear, he seemed as bored with it all as I was.

We still had "sanctions" levied on us. If Cooper has anymore unexcused absences, we'll be fined $187. I said not to worry: Since my verbal word wasn't good enough, and since notes sent with Cooper were often overlooked, I'd start sending the notes via mail, with delivery confirmation and signed return receipt required.

The judge smirked, I winked, and got up and left.

As I was leaving, the prosecution's table of the Truancy Officer of the district leaned over and whispered, "Hey, did you film the Constable serving you like you said you would? I want to watch it!"

I laughed and said, "No, I couldn't find my battery."

She seemed disappointed.

Apparently she hates the anti-climatic as much as I.

Ummmmmmmm Plucky Plucky

Growing out eyebrows is almost as painful as growing out a bad hair cut.

Just sayin'.

(Note that it may not be a thrilling topic, but I AM blogging regularly again!)

Go tweezers?

You just can't make up this kind of crap...

For those long-time readers of my blog, I'm sure this will come as no surprise when I tell this particular little story, but even for someone like me, who lives in this town day after day just shy of two years, I'm continually amazed and equally appalled by the latest development of Living in the Town Called Cameron.

There is a Texas law that states that children may not have more than three UNexcused absences. Okay. Easy enough. But when I take my child in, who just had some major dental work, and set him on the office desk wrapped in a quilt while he shows off his work and tell the women in that office that I'm going to be keeping him home the next couple of days due to the pain, in MY little brain, that's excused. I'm informing the school that he won't be there, and the medical reason why.

So explain to me why I'm summoned, served court papers in my home, to show up in court for "Parent Contributing to Nonattendance". And, shocker of shocks, this is just toward me, my son's father not remotely named. Why? Not sure, but I plan to find out.

I understand the need for this particular law. I really do. Shandie drives herself t school with a vehicle her guardians provided for her. If she then uses that car to ditch school, I happily and readily agree that I'm at fault. But this was summoned for COOPER. He is SIX. If a six year old isn't in school, I betcha he's with his PARENT. (In this case, a parent who did, indeed, notify the school of his absences, but apparently it wasn't WRITTEN DOWN to be placed in his PERMANENT FOLDER. Pardon ME.)

Ohhhhhhhh I don't know. Maybe when I sat him there in the office explaining his dental work and that he wouldn't be in school the next couple of days, the secretaries could have said, "Here. Jot down a note for us to put in his folder." Instead, they nod and give him hugs and wish him well and I think all is fine until two months later when, at 6pm on a January night, a constable knocks on my door.

There comes a point when common sense has GOT to dance hand in hand with the law. Pile this lame, incredible waste of my time and tax payers' money to the load we've carried the last week or so with my Lupus scare and Cooper's Epilepsy, and all I could do was laugh in the constable's face. I said: When is this because if it's on the day he's scheduled for his MRI I won't be gracing your little courthouse.

He said: Oh... judge wouldn't like that.

Oh pardon me AGAIN while I attempt to CARE.

Crap... nope, didn't work. Can't summon up an ounce. SUMMON! HA! I'm so flippin' funny.

So Wednesday morning, 9am, I shall be at the courthouse (Cooper has pre-op for his MRI on THURSDAY morning - judge got flippin' lucky on this one.) I promise to update you as soon as possible. If there's a fine attached to this, guess who will not pay it on general principle. Yup. Me. Many people thought I'd be an attorney growing up because of tenacious ways and word usage, but I know me, and my attitude, and I know I'd be in contempt alllllllllllll the time. Considering I plan on letting this judge know exactly what I think about all of this, we'll be lucky if my happy little ass doesn't end up in jail now. Maybe they'll have internet access.

I've kept my rant to a minimum and my cussing reigned in. Mom sometimes reads this, and she hates when I get that way. You're welcome in advance, Mom.

I've already got my call into my Attorney Extraordinaire, JBM. Maybe he'll have huge words of wisdom. One can hope.

I look really bad in stripes.

Shake Rattle and Roll

The title of this is hugely inappropriate but given how he's handling it, with his usual nonchalance and Super Cooper ways, I decided to use it anyway.

There are times when you do things you'd never, EVER dream of doing. I had one of those moments last night. I had my little six year old dude on my lap, absorbing his little boy giggles and the best hugs and whispers in the world, and teaching him to say a new word:

Epilepsy.

Cooper received this diagnosis yesterday and twenty-four hours later, my heart is still attempting to deal with it. It stems from head trauma and a van door over two years ago, recently rearing up in our world with little seizures that don't seem to phase him but freak me out beyond words. He's got a fabulous physician, hates the taste of his medication, but thinks the idea of Med-Alert dogtags sounds uber-cool. In the grand scheme of things, we're still very lucky, and I know this, and I accept this, but the blood that courses through my veins wants nothing more than to make this all go away, and let him be just a normal little dude who doesn't have to worry about a thing in the world, much less how to pronounce Ep-i-lep-sy.

Shake, rattle and roll, dude face. Momma's got your back.

Click it! Click it GOOD!

At the top of this blog is a little tab that says NEXT BLOG. Click it. It's quite neat to see where all it takes you. Several years ago, this was how I found John who ended up designing my fabulous website, so you never know who all you may find that will influence your life later on.

I did this tonight for the first time in YEARS. The very first one had these great shots of her dog and really funny captions, and like a total twit, I didn't save the link to share it here. I did leave a comment for her, so maybe she'll visit here and you all can see her cute dog and her creative camera angles.

Anyway, try it. It's kinda neat.

On another note: I've updated my blog roll. I had people listed over there and I have no idea who they are. Sorry, but it's gone now. As you can see, the only one really there is EE, my personal editing god because he's the only one I read faithfully right now. I have a few personal friends I'm going to list (non-writing) here in the next day or so, but if you frequent this blog and want to be listed, just give me a hollar and I promise to add you.

On another note: I'm trying to be more creative, so one of the things I want to try is daily blogging on whatever comes to mind. Could be from the kids, the news, whatever. Hope you drop in more often if I do this. I miss my commentors!

On yet another note: I'll update Christmas tomorrow and how it all went down, and get you all caught up on what's happening in my world thus far in 2008. It's not so great right now with the Super Cooper Dude.

On a final note: I'm noted out... g'night.

Black Moments

As writers, we all know what this means, what it entails, its signifigance to the story, the necessity for the character arch, the need to justifiy the Happily Ever After. That moment so dark, so helpless, there is no way the hero and heroine can possibly make it. It's over. It's done. And you wait with eager anticipation, flipping the pages, reading faster and faster, your heart in your throat hoping the two pull through, regardless of this huge, horrible BLACK MOMENT.

Possibly the most heartwrenching black moment I've watched/read was in the movie The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If you haven't watched it, I highly recommended it.

Never have I felt what I experienced when watching that movie. Such despair. Such desperation. A love that ended in such pain, you choose to wipe it all away. Better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all? No thanks. The pain is too great. Erase it.

And you relive the moments as they're being erased, you remember the beginning, the pure fun and excitement, the exhiliaration of seeing each other, the skipping heartbeats at a single touch, the thrill that not only have you found someone you'd searched for - hoped for - but that unbelievable passion and breath-taking realization of that person loves you back. Those are there, and you see it all again, you RELIVE it, every smile, every word, every touch, forced to remember before the stresses of every day had hit, before the mundane drowned it out. But the memories, those moments, they fade during the removal along with the bad times you wanted taken away, and you scream, "No, not this one. LEAVE ME THIS ONE!" and then it's just... gone. The absolute panic, pure desperation to hang onto what once was. What you'd give, what you'd say, to not lose what was once there. When you finally see it really being gone FOREVER, you belatedly realize you not only desire it, crave it, you have to have it. You need it. Even through those bad times. Even through daily stresses. You look at the relationship from beginning to end in mere moments, months and months zeroed down into snapshots and you see how much the great times outweighed the bad times together. Then you blink, and the process is over, and all the moments, all the memories, are lost. Not even a shadow remains of what once was.

In this particular movie, with this huge black moment, I honestly didn't see a way to achieve the Happily Ever After. But the hero and heroine run into each other again, total strangers to each other now, but Fate brought them together again, this beating of hearts that matched so perfectly, looking into each other's eyes and seeing a reflection of something great, knowing in their soul that whatever "this" is, it's huge and needs to be explored.

And they started again. Fate was stronger than anything that could ever be erased, no matter how hard we tried to make that pain go away.

If it's meant to be, it just WILL be.

Better to have love and lost than to never love at all? I don't know. I really don't. But I do know we have to go on faith, even when that faith is shaky, because you never know what sneaky Fate has in store, and in the end, it may have been worth the pain just to experience the ride, to record in your heart and mind those amazing times over and over again, those little snapshots of love.

The Hunt for Hidden Treasures and the Pitfalls of Finding Them

I know, I know. I said I'd post about this the day after the last post, but alas, I didn't. Here it is though.

I cannot reveal what "the item" I really, really wanted was, because I never know if one of the older children may come over here and read, and it's such a huge surprise, it must remain a secret until after Christmas morning. But here is the story of the hunt for two of the items I really, really wanted to get, two items were the reasons for me to head out at 3am after a cold front hit Texas. If my kids ever, ever question my love and devotion to them, I'm absolutely pointing them to this blog.

I think, in general, my mother thinks I'm a not-so-nice person. I don't attend church all the time as I was raised to do. I don't talk the "right way", do the "right things" (in her opinion, of course), and I'm sure the way I do every single little thing could be done ohhhhh so much nicer. I believe with all my being that my mother loves me and adores me, but that inately she feels I'm not one of those who people say, "She's 'good people'." Frankly, I'm okay with that. I have no problem making waves if I feel strongly about something. I have no problem at all saying what I think the moment I think it. I'm stubborn, short-tempered, and patience never even knocked on my soul as I was created. I'm passionate and tenacious to a FAULT.

But I do try to be a good person in general, with basic kindness and friendship and small, simple gestures so ofter overlooked these days. I've never met a stranger - thus the bonding with the married couple in front of us that day at Toys R Us and I am the first person to let someone else in front of me if I'm not in a rush and I can sense that they are. Why do I do this? Because it makes me feel better, makes others feel better, and waves out positive vibes into The Land of Karma.

All of this I pointed out to my mother after the following things occurred:

We left Toys R Us around 5:45am with everything we went after, save that one item and rushed over to Target, where no incident occurred at the door (YAY!) I had ONE thing there I desperately wanted that was ONLY at Target. My mother grabbed a cart while I bolted in and out of clothing, staying off the main and crowded aisles, and headed straight for the toy department, knowing what I was after would be on an end-cap. I found the end-cap, and lo and behold, ALREADY empty. I sighed. This was one of Sydney's big gifts. ONLY found at Target, and, I suspect, ONLY on Black Friday. I was dismayed and another lady and I sighed and shrugged at each other, told her my story, she told me hers, then she went off to find something else. A lady in the cluster of people around us tapped my shoulder, and said, "I picked up two. Here... take one of mine."

I was floored. Absolutely shocked. There are rare, rare moments when I have nothing to say, no words utter forth, but this was one of those times. I squeeked out, "Are you sure?" as my fist clenched in a painful effort not to snatch it and run.

She said, "Absolutely. I grabbed two just in case, but I only NEEDED one. Go ahead."

I swear, it took everything in me not to break down in sobs. I was on an emotional overload after the Toys R Us failure on one gift, the fight behind us, the rush to Target, then the dismay at not finding this one. Add in only 3 hours of sleep, and I was already a wreck. I thanked her profusely, and if fate would have it, maybe someday she'll stumble upon this blog and realize what a huge difference she made in at least one life that day.

I found my mom stuck with the cart on one of the main aisles and told her what happened as I placed the precious item in the cart, under my jacket (I was seriously afraid someone may take it from the cart.) She just stared in amazement.

From there, we went to Walmart. We had very few items we wanted there, but one thing I wanted was what Toys R Us ran out of. Walmart has a POLICY of price-matching on the exact item, so as long as they had that in the brown color, it should be mine. I rushed to the department and asked. The manager said he had price matched it, but was out. Ugh! My bummed heart!

I looked at Mom who had this "give it up" look on her face. I gave her a look back that said, "Uh, no."

We rushed to another Walmart further out of town, I bolted to the department, and OH MY GOSH! They had eight of them! In BROWN! It was mine! I had my Toys R Us ad in my trembling little hand as I went up to the department manager to ask for one and have it price matched.

He said they weren't doing it. My jaw dropped, my heart sank. Then he said that another woman had just been there and was up talking to the store manager. I said, "Point me the direction, because now there will be two of us."

I went up there, my mother - never the trouble-maker - trailing a bit behind me. I saw a cluster of 3-4 people talking near the front, and one broke away and walked toward me. I said, "I'm looking for the store manager."

He said, "I'm the co-manager."

I held out my ad and said, "It's your store policy to price match. You have this exact item, I have my ad, and I'd like to buy it, please."

He said, "No. I'm not doing it. It's a percentage off, not an exact price, and the policy states we don't match percentages."

Um, WRONG ANSWER. I used to work for Walmart parttime over the holidays several years back. I KNOW that policy. He was partially right; they don't match percentage off ads. However, this not only said "Percentage of savings: 60%" but it gave an EXACT price. The percentage he attempted to use wasn't the "ad price" but to let the customer know the percentage of savings.

I start out nice. I really do. He, however, succeeded in pissing me off. I said, "You obviously don't know your store policy well, yet you co-manage. I'll continue to the manager who understands how the policy works" and promptly left him standing there. The other group was a lady and her son and the manager, and she'd been sent by another Walmart to that Walmart for the same item I was after.

I walked up, overheard her, and said, "Yeah. That. I came from another Walmart (different than the one she'd come from) and they were price matching this product as well. I know the story policy on price matching, and you, me, and that co-manager over there (pointing to him) know that the percentage listing here isn't what you're attempting to make it. You don't get to pick and choose price matching. You either do it or you don't. And no where in the policy does it state, 'We match competitors' ads EXCEPT on Black Friday.'"

The manager grinned at me, turned to the co-manager, and ordered him to go and get two of those items, one for me, and one for the other lady. The look on that co-manager's face was priceless. I beamed. I thanked the manager over and over as my hand clutched the item to my chest. He grinned back and said, "Merry Christmas."

We bolted for the check out and left. As I walked out the door, I turned toward where he stood and waved, mouthing another "thank you". He smiled and waved and went to calm some other frantic mother out there trying to do her best for her kids.

Two of the biggest items I'd wanted that day weren't mine to have. Twice, I lost. But due to the kindness of strangers in two different incidences, I ended up with them in the back of my van and relief and happiness in my heart.

We got in the car and I said to my mother, "I know you think I'm not that nice of a person, but all of this that's happened today, that's good karma coming back."

She just said, ever so unapologically, "You should still go to church though."

I laughed, started the car, and cranked up the Dixie Chicks' song SIN WAGON. Life is good. Just follow your heart and your never-ceasing tenacity. Never settle. Never.