Sunday, September 17, 2006

Big Shoulders and Tight Butts.

It's kind of odd - I've been married twice, and neither of them are/were (one's dead, after all) big on watching sports on TV. For some unknown reason, B's watching the Cowboys tonight (and c'mon, if you have to watch football, at least make it the Cowboys, right? Right.) I sat here checking email and spun around in my chair to oogle men with unnaturally broad shoulders and tight, spandex-ed butts and realized football really IS the ultimate in men being MEN.

Over the last few decades, we've taken the men out of men. We want them to be more sensitive. We want them to understand us. We want them to carry equal weight around the house (yeah - right. Never happen, and don't write me telling me you're the exception, because dollars to donuts your wife would tell me the TRUTH. Your delusion is cute though.) We want them to be interested in our lives. Why? Why would they care about a sale on clothes or what happened on Desperate Housewives? Do we REALLY want men like that? We are so busy blending and blurring the lines that distiguish men from women that there's a freakin' term for it: Metrosexual.

Which is weird in general, I think. Don't label EVERYthing. That's a rant for another time though.

I miss MEN. Dominant, this is my way men. Cavemen mentality. I hunt. I protect. I drag my woman by the hair at night and have my way with her.

Purr. Yum.

What's so bad about a woman wanting this anyway? I can't see a single thing. I want my guy to provide for me, to protect me. I want him to hold me and know I'm safe, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally too, and I can go "all girlie" on him while watching a chick-flick or after reading a book or being all stupid because the shoes I wanted went on sale. I want him to think it's cute - I don't want him to UNDERSTAND it. If I wanted that, I'd call up my girlfriends instead. I don't want to think, "Oh goodie, if someone breaks in, my guy can teach him how to wax the backhair off - or hose him down with his hair gel." Oh yeah, that gives me goosebumps.

Ya know how girls complain because her guy is always trying to "fix it" and all she wanted to do was vent? Guess what? That's what guys DO. It's part of protecting us. If we're complaining about something, we're unhappy. If we're unhappy, they want us happy again - thus they try to fix it. I LOVE this about men. I think I should have been a woman in the 50s or something. I don't know.

Women are always told we should celebrate being women. Yeah, well, I think we should celebrate men being manly men. Give me an alpha-male and I'm a happy girl. I want him because he knows I look pretty, not because he knows I use the same hair products as Carmen Electra. That's flat-out weird.

Which brings me back to football. How great are these guys? They get PAID (overly paid, but not the point) to do what men want to do: Kick-ass without getting hurt like in a bar fight. Slap each other on the butt without being called gay. Scream profanities at the other team's line. Watch cheerleaders bounce around in skimpy outfits, because what guy doesn't love that? They have this energy and anger and driven purpose and they go at it 100%. They ooze testosterone, and I think that's a really fabulous thing.


Xcentric said...

Hiyas Brenda :) Long time no see! Give me a call sometime, or an email at least. (grin)


D said...

I laugh at your wanting an Alpha male.

Typically Alphas are interested in one of two things, getting ahead, or keeping themselves there.

The Type C personalities, the one you talk about that got lost in the whole feelings movement are right out the door too since you really want nothing to do with them unless you need a male "friend."

And while you pine after A's, its the B's you really should be paying attention too. They are the one toiling everyday, sometimes at jobs that no one in their right mind would ever consider less than a mans man work, but they have no need to thump their chest and proclaim themselves head of any pack, nor are they lost in the warm fuzzy attitudes of modern man.

They are the ones that will leave you out of breath and purring like a kitten and if your lucky, will wrap their arms around you and tuck you in tight against their warm chest before they slip off to sleep.


Brenda Bradshaw said...

D - your last paragraph kills me.

My idea of alpha males are based on the archetypes from writing. Betas do nothing for me; thetas, though, have a great appeal on a dark, dark level. But alphas, oh yeah - that's what I want.

And that last paragraph...

Val said...

Well Said (written) Brenda!!

daionara said...

Yep I like a good strong Alpha man myself, except sometimes I wish my Man wasn't quite so Cavemanesque.

Dwight The Troubled Teen said...

Does Pulitzer give prizes for blog entries?

I'd like to nominate this one.

Lynn Daniels said...

Great post! I don't completely agree, but it was great!

Honestly, I've never met an Alpha that I didn't want to kick in the shins (and I've actually tried a time or two), but I'm not interested in a girly-man, either. My husband's a nice blend -- I can always depend on him to provide and protect, but at the same time, he's always willing to help. He loves to watch football, doesn't give a crap about clothing sales, and looks at me cross-eyed if I even *mention* hair products. But he also shared in the middle of the night baby stuff, cooks a killer meal, and can be very sensitive and tender.

But when I write, I love my Alpha heroes. I just couldn't live with one. *g*

Arthur said...

THANK YOU! Finally.