Suck it in! Suck it in!

Yes, that's sang to the "plug it in" diddly. Don't ask why, cuz I don't know.

Here's the news. The black dress I ordered came in today. This is the one that's more semi-formal, where it just comes to my knees, has spaghetti straps then a scarf that goes around the neck and hangs down the back. Got the visual going there yet? Good. Keep THAT visual, because the one coming up is NOTHING as pretty as THAT.

Let me back up a bit. I recently lost a lot of weight (26 lbs) over the course of last year. In the last THREE months I've gained it all back, with two of my daily meds listing weight gain as a side-effect. Keeping THAT nasty little idea in mind, I ordered my old size.

Fast forward to my lily-white sitting on eBay looking at dresses and finding this cute little thing. Yes, it's in my "current" size, but I forgot one little important tidbit: formals run S M A L L. I held it up and though: Oh HELL no.

My 14 yr old is standing next to me. It fits her like a freakin' dream. SHE is a size 5/7. SO WHY would any twit put a big ol' double digit on the stupid dress! It's new with tags, and now I know why: Someone else bought it as the size 14/16 and realized it wouldn't fit on THEIR right thigh either, so left the tags on and put it on eBay, listing it New With Tags. (NWT). Guess what I'm about to do? The same friggin' thing.

~deep, cleansing sigh~

Now, just because I'm a flippin' moron and the mistress of all things masochist, I'm about to go to my room and attempt to push different pieces of flesh into the shiny satin fabric. Seriouly, I think a girdle would even run and hide at the aspect of fixing THIS problem.

To borrow a phrase from my friend, Eliana: Oy.
Stay tuned for the (ugly) update!