Again and again

So every excuse I've ever had about why I'm not writing has been met, down to a new (refurbed but new to me) laptop. I eagerly open up a manuscript I'd started and proceeded to stare.

Ugh.

I forced myself to write. It sucked. I backspaced. I wrote some more. It blew chunks. I backspaced again. And again. Then I made myself stop thinking and simply DO it, knowing I could remove it later if I needed to (which, without a doubt, I would), and got to the end of the scene.

And then I realized that since I wrote that little beginning with just an idea of the story, I knew next to nothing about my character. Well, you can't write without knowing the character, so I started on a character worksheet to try to get into her head. My own head is confusing enough. We can only imagine how hard it is to get into a character's head that comes from my head. Kind of as confusing as that last sentence, but I think you know what I mean.

So tonight I'm whipping out craft books on characterization. This is just like anything else: You have to retrain your mind to do it. Flex those muscles and get them limber enough to work with ease.

And try not to get a brain cramp in the process.

More Satan, Please, and a Side of Minion.

Blog, Brenda, Blog! Ya know, you can always help out by sending me ideas and topics on what to blog about when you write to tell me to blog. *hint*

It's very strange to me that people don't use the comment section here as much as they used to and now send me emails instead. Not sure what's up with that, but...

Anyway, Satan.

If you're a reader of my blog for the last two years, you'll remember that I refer to Janet Evanovich as Satan. She tempts and teases and sucks hours of sleep away from you as she creates more of Trenton in your mind. I knew she had #13 of the Plum series coming out this summer, but what I did NOT know was that there's another book, PLUM LOVIN' ("A Stephanie Plum Between-the-Numbers Novel") already out there. I almost cried in pure joy when I saw it at the store, and then did a small little dance because my hands were not only holding a new Evanovich, but because it's a first edition too. I read it, in one night, of course, and it's great. It has Deisel in it again, and if you recall how I felt about her Sugarplum Christmas novel (go midget elf attacks!), it's kind of the same thing. These odd supernatural powers that aren't really explained. Whereas Stephanie, Ranger and Joe could be real (and especially Grandma!), when these novels toss in this supernatural stuff, it simply takes out an element of reality for me. Still though - I loved it, and this time, I was better prepared for the supernatural stuff anyway, since we'd met Deisel before.

In other news, after quite awhile away from all things writing, I've re-entered the world of Evil Editor and Miss Snark. I even ponied-up a New Beginning of one of my novels to be posted on EE's. Yeah, I was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, and they assured me the high fever was over, but with me taking such a drastic action on his blog, I have to doubt those doctors. Anyway, I love these two to bits, between their witty ways and learning something in the process. If you want to know about writing, read ON WRITING by King and be a faithful Snarkling and Minion, and you're set. Doesn't get much better than that.

EE could use some queries, I believe, so go and visit him and find out what being a minion is all about.

Hmm.

Satan.

Minions.

That works.

Sympathies to Evil Editor

Many of you here in the writing world know Evil Editor: the anonymous editor out there blogging - everyone aching to know his identity and yet more than satisfied in simply having him out here, even though we don't know his name or his face. He thrills us, teaches us, entertains us, and makes us have hope instead of angst at the two words: "query letter". He's our own real life hero. I happen to adore him and proudly claim myself as one of his minions.

His mother passed away on New Year's Day. As another minion said on EE's blog, what an amazing woman she must have been to raise such a strong and stunningly intelligent man. I whole-heartedly agree.

We mourn with you, EE. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

Have a Rockin' Merry Christmas

We're leaving tomorrow for DFW to spend Christmas at "home" aka my parents. I hope you have a fabulous day, relish in your traditions, make new ones, laugh and hug your friends and family and be forever grateful for them. Eat, drink, and be merry. From my family to yours, have a rockin' Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa: Define "good"

We were at my parents in DFW for Thanksgiving, and my oldest, Shandie, was playing around with my mom's rockin' cool digital at the park with the smaller two.

Shandie: So say Santa decides you weren't good this year...
Syd: Define good.
Shandie: Let me see what faces you'd make if you wake up to only coal this year.

This is the result.

Note that Cooper looks like a broken-hearted little boy. Sydney, however, looks like she's considering Jingle Bell Castration.

I sound like my mother.

Not really. Not that it's a bad thing if I did. My mom is one of my best friends. We're just VASTLY different. And besides, that's really not the point. The point is I said a "motherly" thing. Ugh.

I had lunch with Sydney and Cooper. Syd leaves after lunch to go to recess and it was kinda cold out. And I kid you not, the words came outta my mouth: "Where's your jacket?"

Before *I* had a chance to cringe at my own words, Little Miss Six Year Old piped up with, "Mom, it's not THAT cold out."

Well yeah, I knew that. She didn't have to roll her eyes to get the point across either. Needless to say I felt decidedly old. Major suckage.

In other kid news, Syd's also at that age where she's constantly losing teeth. I remember thinking it was super cool when I was little, but man oh man, it squicks me out when she walks up and wiggles a floppin' tooth with her tongue. Worse yet is the laughter she emits at my reaction. A couple of nights ago she came up to me with tissue in her mouth and her tooth held triuphantly in her hand.

"Did you pull it by yourself?"

"No, Cooper punched me in the mouth and it fell out."

Oh. Well, okay - whatever works.

Then she had the audicity to say that the $2 she received from the Tooth Fairy was fake. FAKE!

I said, "Well give it back then!"
She said, "Why would I give it BACK to you when it's FROM the Tooth Fairy."

Uhhh.
Right.
Oops.
Nevermind!

Sassy little thing. And we wonder why her five year old little brother smacked her in the mouth? I think not.

You know it's Thanksgiving when...

You can say these things and not get in trouble:

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. That's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!

10. Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in?

16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.

17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!

18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!

"In Bed"

Okay, I think we all know the rules of reading fortune cookies, right? You take the saying and at the end, you add "in bed".

Here are our fortunes from when we had Chinese:

The wise thing to do is to prepare for the unexpected
(in bed. "You wanna put WHAT WHERE?!")

There is always time for you to try a new path (in bed. Path? Suddenly it feels like hiking, which is exercise, which isn't as fun when viewed like that).

Be moderate where pleasure is concerned and avoid fatigue (in bed, cuz yeah, that'd be bad!)

Be yourself and you will always be in fashion (in bed. Because I was really worried about fashion faux pas while bumping uglies).

There will always be delightful mysteries in your life (in bed. Well ROCK ON!)

And my personal favorite: Soon, a visitor shall delight you.

Bet you added "in bed" to the end of that one automatically, huh?

Halloween 2006

Our first Halloween in Cameron. Yeehaw.

We obviously live in the country, what with the horses and turkey (down to one now, the other committed suicide) and chickens, etc. Neighbors cows and donkeys. Smells GOOD out here. Not.

So we drove into the "city" (cough cough) and drove around the area where the schools are. One of the things that stuck me as odd is no one was walking. They were all driving around, pulling up to a house, kids get out, go up, get candy, come back to the car and drive to the next house. Why no, we don't live in a lazy society at ALL. Of course, part of this is because neighborhoods overall don't seem to have consistent amounts of people home handing out treats, so you'd have five dark houses for every lit one. But that's a rant for another time.

We moved here in February, so my kids attended the end of the 2005-2006 school year. Of the 100 graduating students, 10 were pregnant. 10%. Nice. And I think I saw one of those girls Tuesday night. There was a girl walking around in a tight, "sexy" kind of costume with a little baby, maybe 2 months old, in its own costume, going house to house. It struck me as horribly sad. A child with a child - that was her "friend" to go out and about on Halloween night. No one else was with her. No huge group like my oldest went out with. I found it sad. I still do.

Then there were the really weird people. Backs of vans open with massive amounts of legs hanging out, kids jumping down and out of vehicles before they were stopped. I don't know how many accidents I saw almost occur. I was almost in one, because some girl around 16 thought she'd pull over all the sudden, and oh wait, there's MY CAR. She literally got within 3" of hitting me. Other kids were sitting on TOP of the cars. Not the back on the trunks, not the hoods. On the ROOFS. There were flat-bed trailers being pulled with 20-30 kids in the back. And all I could think were "Where are these parents?!" Well, I did see that one parent, but she was a teenager, so I don't think that counts. We went to one neighborhood and it was like inner-city scary. Super nice houses, but the mobs walking around were downright frightening, and no kids in costumes! I wouldn't have handed them out candy if they weren't in a costume. Then again, maybe I would, since they look like they'd shoot up your house if you didn't.

Needless to say, it was an interesting night.

As for our night:

We'd been to a couple of houses and then came upon this one house on a corner that stood kind of by itself since none of the others on the block were lit up. I pulled in front of the house and pointed out lots of things. Kids on the porch handing out candy. The flashing lights. Decorations in the yard - one of which was a coffin. Standing next to the coffin was "Dad". No costume, just standing there, overseeing the action. Good for him.

Too bad I'm going to have to de-ball him someday soon.

Since there weren't any others lit up, Carly (age 12) decided to take Sydney and Cooper by herself and I'd wait in the car. Okay then. They're walking up to the porch when surprise surprise, a teenager comes flying out of the coffin. Carly starts that nervous giggling. Sydney, being Sydney (age 6) does her shrinking thing. She gets super quiet, kind of goes inside herself and you can practically see her size reduce as she visually disappears. Cooper... ~sigh~ (age 5), in his Ninja Turtle Glory, screams a scream to wake the dead and DARTS back down the driveway. Now, what's the one rule about haunted houses and scary places like that? Chase the one who's scared. So the kid does.

Cooper's little dinky legs couldn't go fast enough, and big scary boy rounds on him, getting in front of him, between Cooper and the car where Mighty Mom sits, granted laughing my ass off. I'm getting out of the car because I know he's honestly scared, and I see Cooper screaming, hugely crying with ginormous tears, and swinging his candy bag like a man gone wild. He sees me, darts around the boy and literally skitters up my body, arms and legs like little vices around me.

Ends up it the girls handing out the candy were friends of Carly. Too bad all the kids got too freaked to remember to GET any candy.

About that time, obviously missing his cue, the Grim Reeper comes running around the corner to the front yard. Dude, not only are you late, but there is NOTHING you can do to scare these children more.

What irks me about this is that normally dressed Dad who stood there next to the coffin. There should have been some kind of kick to the coffin to let the teenager know there were little kids, to simply sit up and say BOO, which would have scared them enough. Thus, said Dad must be de-balled as an example to dads everywhere.

I get the kids loaded back up, snuggling Cooper next to me in the front seat while Syd and Carly go to the next house. (He decided to take a small break - imagine that.) I said, "Dude! You were scared and you were crying, but you were still kicking serious butt by swinging that bag at him!"

Ya know, build up that self-confidence!

Cooper: "Yeah, I did good, Mom, and I was aimin' for his WINKER!"

Just not much left to say after that, ya know?

Happy Winkin' Halloween!

The Wrath of God and Birthday Cake

There were the Twelve Plagues...

There was Noah and the ark...

(We have an animal theme in common, that Noah and me!)

And then, 37 years ago today, God perked on His heavenly throne. "AHA! I have it! A new torture for civilization that shall forever confuse scores of humanity and leave them scratching their heads in wonder! There shall be a face to go with the chaos!"

Poof! I was born.

Thirty-seven candles - that's obnoxious.